My mind has just been cluttered.

Life has continued and God has remained, but I haven’t found the time and quietness of spirit required to untangle and articulate the tangents, storms, and epiphanies of my mind and heart. Perhaps you can relate. That said, this blog was never meant to be flawlessly written, nor was it ever intended to showcase only the sunny spots in life. Rather, I’ve hoped that this would be a place of genuine honesty, celebration, encouragement, and challenge — both for myself and for whomever stumbles across it. I truly hope you are blessed in some way by what you find here.

The past six months have been stuffed — like Santa’s toy bag or a Thanksgiving turkey. Let me elaborate…

-my dad was diagnosed with cancer, underwent surgery, healed, and declared cancer-free! The night before I left to see him, my roommate had a friend over and I overheard something about her taking the train north. She just happened to be going to the same place I was, to see her father, who she’d just found out had cancer… the very same kind my dad had! God orchestrated that night and that trip like I’d never seen before and he turned a situation of grief and pain into one of blessing and companionship.

-I saw a friend who uses a wheelchair everyday actually walk down the aisle on her wedding day!

-when a garbage can came tumbling into my freeway lane and I was boxed in, I hit it and came to a grinding halt. Not only was my car undamaged, but the lady behind me miraculously stopped in time — being rear-ended at a dead stop would have put me in the hospital if not the morgue!

-someone at church suggested I attend an out-of-town conference on justice and then proceeded to give me both a free registration and a free place for me to stay while I attended

-I was writing a paper on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict at a coffee shop one afternoon and a fellow I’d never seen before came over and started asking me about it. He’d seen my notes scattered around, had lived in Israel for a time, and wanted to know my thoughts. He’d never been to a Christian church and wasn’t sure what I believed or why. We talked that afternoon about a lot of things and I made absolutely no progress on that paper. It was the best thing I did all day.

..bracelets from India..

-I stumbled across a breakfast hosted by an international organization in town. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw pictures of the girls I’d spent time with in India both on their 2011 calendars and on the slideshow of the main speaker.

-I planned a dream trip to Europe and ended up cancelling my tickets a couple weeks before I was supposed to leave. A week or so later an opportunity to visit an out-of-state friend opened up. I went and it was amazing — honestly so much better than Europe would have been if I’d have forced the original trip.

           And the list goes on… in the past six months:

..friends have had babies, others have lost loved ones; some have fallen in love and been married, others suffered in broken marriages; some have received full ride scholarships to school, others have struggled to buy groceries; a dear friendship broke, but many others have been revitalized and restored; friends have left to live overseas, others have returned after living overseas.

..I’ve met with leaders of different faiths and heard their stories (Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Unitarian). I’ve dug into the Bible, preached a sermon, written papers, attended church, and have fallen on my face in front of God a number of times. With guys I’ve been both pursued and rejected. I’ve been learning about humility, relationships, and the destructive power of gossip and sarcasm (Ephesians 4:29).

I’ve been thinking and talking about the church, roles of men and women, and relief work. I’ve been in class, out on the town, clocked in at work, at the gym, and with people. I’ve also been reading quite a bit — “chewing the cud” on the thoughts of others. I love God and am convinced we can’t live without Him.

      This is my life.

Hank's friend, "Wilson"

..but it’d be a whole different story to be on the same quintessential island alone. Did you ever watch the movie “Castaway” (2000) with Tom Hanks? I couldn’t bring myself to sit through the entire saga, but I understand Hanks’ character gets so lonely on a beautiful island that he fashions an imaginary friend out of an old volleyball. Not exactly paradise.

John Donne (1572-1631), who was an English clergyman and poet, once said:

“No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main…” (Meditation XVII, emph mine).   

Life is better when it’s shared. In today’s world it’s easy to live essentially isolated from one another — like islands sprinkled across a vast ocean. Sure, we are constantly physically around people…  but do we really know them?

I think America is detached and depressed. We dabble in escapist ventures – be it movies, video games, alcohol, fantasy books, self mutilation, prescription meds, or one night stands. We cheat ourselves out of authentic relationships with real people. Be it within families, marriages, friendships, or churches… the monsters of biterness, jealousy, insecurity, and fear get in the way of living in community. We get caught up with success, status, and self preservation… and it isolates us. 

 …Let it be no more.

plumeria, Hawaii

This semester I decided to do something radically different with my life —  to set aside my own agendas and issues, trust God in tangible ways, and live more like Christ and less like me. (See ”Taking the PLUNGE” entry.) The past month or so the concept of community has been turning slowly in my brain like a pig roasting over the fire at a sunset luau… the more it turns over the more enticingly fragrant it becomes.

It’s a counter-cultural idea… in a society that values people who stand alone (the rugged individualist), I’m suggesting we stand together. Not in a way that compromises who we are, but in a way that shares who we are with the people around us. I’m not promoting co-dependence, I’m encouraging authentic relationship… allowing people to genuinely know us and seeking to know others.  

The words of Richard Stearns, President of the humanitarian organization World Vision, resonate with the idea of bidding adieu to this “island” life. He says that our idea of privatized Christianity, of faith merely being between us and God, is incomplete.  Christianity isn’t a quick prayer uttered in one of life’s corners, it’s a transformational relationship with God that should overflow into every aspect of our lives… in other words, it’s not lived in isolation. In The Hole in Our Gospel (Thomas Nelson: 2009), Stearns says:   

“The idea behind The Hole in Our Gospel is quite simple. It’s basically the belief that being a Christian, or follower of Jesus Christ, requires much more than just having a personal and transforming relationship with God. It also entails a public and transforming relationship with the world. If your personal faith in Christ has no positive outward expression, then your faith — and mine — has a hole in it.” (p.2).

Though Stearns is ultimately drawing attention to our responsibility to respond to global issues like poverty and rampant disease, I think his observation is spot on. We tend to compartmentalize our lives and our beliefs, and it hinders our ability to truly know and be known. Think about it… if you were to invite everyone you knew to the same party what would that look like? 

Work friends. School friends. Neighbors. Family. Church friends. Out on the town friends. Sports friends. Facebook friends. New and old, everyone… would they know the same person? Clearly, people are multi-faceted and not each friendship will be a cookie-cutter of the next, but are we essentially the same in all our relationships… or do we adjust who we are based on expectations and fear?

the fall of the Berlin Wall, 1989

Friends, fear KILLS community. It breeds island dwellers. Authentic relationships simply cannot survive on the superficial; they have to be built on foundations of truth. (Think about what broken trust and betrayl do to a relationship, for example, when truth is compromised.) And truth-based relationships require a whole lot of LOVE, forgiveness, and vulnerability. The words of the apostle John come to mind: 

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us.” – 1 John 4:18

Perfect love casts out fear. Fear of being honest, of being rejected, vulnerable, exposed, judged. It is the polar opposite of pride. Pride demands self preservation… and, subsequently, it builds walls. The more proud we are the greater the distance becomes between “us” and “them”. But rather than distancing, love takes a risk and APPROACHES. 

So, my hope is that we will distance a little less and love radically more. That we will build bridges off our islands and tear down the walls that protect our own pride and insecurity — and isolate us —  as we share honestly life’s pain and laughter, hope and love with the real people around us. Let us ask God for the courage and the grace to live in true community with one another. Let us bid farewell to “island” life.

Have a listen to Phil Wickham’s song, Beautiful. Nowhere is there a better example of perfect, unselfish love for others than that which is poured out in Christ’s love for humanity. It’s beautiful.       

…

Photo credits:

http://www.softpedia.com/progScreenshots/Tropical-Island-Escape-Screenshot-35556.html

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://aquaest.typepad.com/.a/6a00e5551268ac883401157100e500970c-320pi&imgrefurl=http://www.sulisminerva.org/2009/07/being-a-bridge-nan-degrove.html&usg=__jCTksMbToWUlvLittDrtdsep9fA=&h=320&w=213&sz=10&hl=en&start=69&zoom=1&itbs=1&tbnid=c_dWUWjYFslatM:&tbnh=118&tbnw=79&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbridge%2Bat%2Bsunrise%26start%3D54%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26sa%3DN%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D18%26tbs%3Disch:1

http://si.wsj.net/public/resources/images/WK-AU418_TVREVI_G_20100623133659.jpg

http://www.brainmysteries.com/Images/cast_away_movie_Wilson_football.jpg

I love the outdoors, I especially love water, and I love hanging out with adventure sports people. But my brain tends to be more of a calculating one… so how far OUT would I have to jump to avoid smashing into the cliff on the way down… how DEEP is that water… are there any hidden ROCKS lurking beneath the surface that could paralyze me?!  I want to calculate the risk before jumping. So, inevitably, I will stand at the edge of the rock face — gazing longingly at the refreshing water below — and watch person after person run, flailing or gracefully diving, and JUMP.

Do you live your life like the person who stands at the edge paused, hesistant to truly dive into something?  Have you been living with “one toe in”, involved somewhat but not fully invested in relationships, commitments, future plans, and –dare I say it – ”church”? I have.

Ever wondered what it would be like to go all in? To really live the way that God intended? Sure, it’s easy to go to church, listen to the sermon, maybe even volunteer in the nursery, give money to a charitable organization, or lead a Bible study group. But I’m talking about something more… more than learning about what God has to say, actually living that way. I’m not suggesting it’s bad to do these things, but I am suggesting that we can do all this — and more — and still be standing at the edge of the cliff.

Those who will commit to nothing, who stand for nothing, and who risk for nothing, in the end, rarely accomplish anything. (The Bravehearted Gospel, p. 123)

Following God is not a list of “do nots” or guilt-laden commitments throughout the week;  it’s about relationship — first with the God of the universe and then with the people around us. Being a Christian is about living like Christ, not just talking about it. Let us not merely talk about theological questions of the ages, let us pray for our friends who have cancer, release bitterness and confront hatred, and allow the Bible to move from our brains and seep into our hearts that it may transform who we are and not just what we do. May what we DO flow out of who we are, out of love  for one another not out of obligation. May we not be legalistic, superficial, self-righteous people. May we not be people who have “the appearance of godliness” but deny its power (2 Timothy 3:5).

So what does this “all in” look like?

Black Rock cliff jump, Maui

I think it means caring more about what God thinks than the people we try to impress: romantic interests, colleagues, friends, bosses, parents, etc. It means that our motivations matter: the reasons behind our actions. It means relationships are saturated with honesty and love: we let down our walls and let people see us as we truly are… and we love on people as they truly are. It means we have to trust God with a LOT: we withdraw from the driver’s seat in life and yield to God’s guiding. It means we cut out the sin (the things that aren’t right before God) from our lives; we allow people to shine light on those areas and we listen to their words with humility. It means we spend time with God: reading the Bible and praying. It means instead of being crazy busy we prioritize and simplify: we go DEEP instead of WIDE. It means we apologize and forgive – always. We seek to restore broken relationships.

As a single girl in her 20s, let me add this to the ladies out there…  This also means we take an honest look at the way we interact with the guys in our lives. It means we gain our sense of beauty, power, identity, and worth not from the praises of charming — and not-so-charming — fellows, but from God. This doesn’t mean making ourselves unattractive, but rather taking a closer look at our wardrobes, especially the mini skirts and plunging shirts, and our hearts. I think jumping “all in” means we willingly relinquish the sense of power and control that comes from turning heads and collecting compliments. It means we choose to put God in the spotlight instead of ourselves.    

Please hear me, this is not a formula. It’s not a “10 steps to heaven” deal. The Bible says people are saved through faith in Christ, it’s not something you earn (Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 2:5) it’s something you believe (Romans 10:9). What I’m talking about is living a FULL life, at taking God at his word and believing that he really knows best how to approach life. So, go ahead and take the plunge… bring on the ripples of change! : )

photo credits:   

http://lillianknight.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/cliff-jumping.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_juYqArGsk84/S-FMUxKeckI/AAAAAAAAAC0/DLjUGw1fULc/s1600/WaterRipples05L.jpg

I remember when school meant long rides on the crickety bus and the hustle and bustle of malls filled with teenagers eagerly awaiting their chance to walk into the same halls with a new identity — transformed by their summer experiences, relationships, and newly infused fashionable wardrobes. I remember getting ready… buying textbooks, school bags, pens, locker decorations, and such. And then sitting in class trying to stay awake.

     …Not this year.

I love my classes. For the past two years I have had the incredible opportunity to study, well, God. : ) From Greek language to counseling, theology to global issues, and Genesis to Revelation the whole idea of coming to seminary has been to get to know God: to study the Bible, spend time with God in prayer, and to let that transform my life from the inside out.

I was sitting in class yesterday morning thinking about the heartbreak in America, the bitterness toward God that so many hold when he has failed to come through for them — or it appears that way. My professor was talking about an often quoted, but misunderstood, verse (Matthew 18:19-20):

“…if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

On its own it sounds a lot like God is promising that when two people agree on something and come to him in prayer about it that He will give them whatever they ask. It’s a formula to get our wildest prayers answered – or so it may appear at first glance. So we grab a buddie and pray earnestly for a job, spouse, medical healing, guidance on an issue or the like… and if God doesn’t grant our request we shake our fists at Him and point our fingers bitterly to this verse. We feel entitled to an answer, an answered PROMISE to be precise, but the problem is that we misunderstood the verse. We took it out of context.

The verse, which starts with “Again I say to you”, is part of a larger unit of thought that stretches back to the beginning of chapter 18. My professor continued speaking: the main idea is that when Christians live in sin, fellow Christians should seek to restore them to fellowship. This passage is about relationships within the church, about acting with humility toward one another, and not causing harm. Oh, that we would take these words to heart and not just skim over them!

When a Christian does sin (by doing something contrary to what God says is right), as the church we should reach out in love and humility in every effort to restore them into relationship and fellowship. The context surrounding the description of how this should be done includes a strong emphasis on humility (the opposite of pride), and love. Rather than condemning and “scarlet lettering” someone, we are to approach the person with an attitude like a shepard going after a single sheep that’s wandered off. The shepard’s desire is — most likely–  not to beat the sheep, but to bring it back to the flock and to safety.  When this is done according to the will of Christ and in real agreement in prayer, it is powerful and God is a part of it.

As I sat and listened to my professor explore this passage, I saw the way its segments were woven together as a unit. I continue to be amazed at the interconnectedness and depth of the Scriptures. While the Bible clearly states blatant truths, there is much more to be learned by peeling back its layers and examining the frameworks within those truths have been presented.

….Here is my hope and my point

May we not hold grudges against God for breaking what we have incorrectly deemed a promise. Let us never remove anyone’s words, especially God’s, from the context in which they are said. God is perfect, always has been, and He loves you and me. Next time you see a one verse bumper sticker, t-shirt, bookmark, or bulletin board I’d encourage us all to open our Bibles and find where it’s nestled. I pray you will be blessed by the experience, and I am confident you will find that God loves you and His promises remain unbroken. : ) 

image from: http://wapellayouth.files.wordpress.com/2009/11/prayer-hands.jpg

visions of summer... Maui, Hawaii

 and the sun begins to shine its face upon the northern states. I love it!

..I also find that in the summer I’m more likely to read. During the school year I spend so much time scouring over books that I don’t really read “for fun”… but the summer brings a new season.

So… I recently read Timothy Keller’s book Counterfeit Gods: The empty promises of money, sex, and power,  and the only hope that matters (New York: Dutton, 2009). It’s worth the read. Written by a pastor of many years it speaks to what we, as individuals and as a society, worship.

… but I don’t bow down and pray to any household idols, you may be thinking, so I’m in the clear. Well, not necessarily…

You may have heard the Biblical story of the Israelites, recently delivered out of Egyptian slavery, who made a gold statue shaped like a cow and worshipped it instead of God (Exodus 32). Growing up in the church, I often equated the first commandment “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3) with my own paraphrase of “don’t bow down to statues”… but idols aren’t limited to statues — they take many forms.  

“More than other idols, personal success and achievement lead to a sense that we ourselves are god, that our security and value rest in our own wisdom, strength, and performance. To be the very best at what you do, to be at the top of the heap, means no one is like you. You are supreme.” -Keller, p.75

“If your success is more than just success to you — if it is the measure of your value and worth — then accomplishment in one limited area of life will make you believe you have expertise in all areas. This, of course, leads to all kinds of bad choices and decisions. This distorted view of ourselves is part of the blindness to reality that the Bible says always accompanies idolatry (Psalm 135:15-18; Ezekiel 36:22-36).” -p.76 (emphasis mine)

Keller talks about love, lust, greed, glory… and disillusionment. The things we worship apart from God always disappoint. C.S. Lewis captures this well in Mere Christianity (emphasis mine):

“Most people, if they have really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise. The longings which arise in us when we first fall in love, or first think of some foreign country, or first take up some subject that excites us, are longing which no marriage, no travel, no learning, can really satisfy… There was something we have grasped at, in that first moment of longing, which just fades away in the reality… evaded us.”

What do we do? Idols are loved, trusted, and obeyed by those who worship them. They connect to our feelings of significance (love) and sense of security (trust), so we are driven to serve (obey) them. We even sacrifice to them — sacrifices of time, relationships, integrity, and money. When we are so focused on IT, we see the world in relation to IT…

“When an idol gets a grip on your heart, it spins out a whole set of false definitions of success and failure and happiness and sadness. It redefines reality in terms of itself… if, because of your idol, your ultimate good is the power and status of your people, then anything that gets in the way of it is, by definition, bad… In the end idols can make it possible to call evil good and good evil.” -Keller, p.146 (emphasis mine)

…so WHAT DO WE DO?!

“Idols cannot simply be removed. They must be replaced. If you only try to uproot them, they grow back; but they can be supplanted. By what?  By God himself, of course. But by God we do not mean a general belief in his existence. Most people have that, yet their souls are riddled with idols. What we need is a living encounter with God.” -Keller, p.155

Idols will not gently excuse themselves from our lives. They often have death grips and their removal does not come without pain, but it is WORTH IT. The picture C.S. Lewis paints of the encounter between the boy Eustace and the lion Aslan in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is poignant. Keller paraphrases (emphasis mine):

“One night Eustace found an enormous pile of treasure in a cave. He was elated and began to imagine the life of ease and power he would now have. When he woke, however, to his horror, he had turned into a hideous dragon. ‘Sleeping on a dragon’s hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in his heart, he had become a dragon himself.’

Eustace tried to peel off the dragon skin, and become a boy again, but he was unsuccessful. CS Lewis describes Aslan’s restoration of Eustace — sharp claws and deep cuts: “The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt… Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off — just as I thought I’d done it myself the other three times, only they hadn’t hurt — and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been… I’d turned into a boy again.” : )

May we, like Eustace, submit to God… letting Him strip away the idols that have so entangled our hearts and minds. He is able and waiting.

pictures from:

http://www.google.com/imglanding?q=dragons%20pictures&imgurl=http://www.creatures-imaginaires.com/02_creatures/dragons/dragons3_70.jpg&imgrefurl=http://shirt.woot.com/forums/ViewPost.aspx%3FPostID%3D3925257%26PageIndex%3D6%26ReplyCount%3D457&usg=__XY3MBh3V6yNbWvZuFKgqLlVyxxk=&h=563&w=450&sz=37&hl=en&itbs=1&tbnid=6iTfBnW5QfAAaM:&tbnh=133&tbnw=106&prev=/images%3Fq%3Ddragons%2Bpictures%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&safe=active&gbv=2&tbs=isch:1&start=0#tbnid=6iTfBnW5QfAAaM&start=0

http://www.google.com/imglanding?q=treasure%20pile%20pictures&imgurl=http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_R8FrPyv-qDE/R1DFlDKLCdI/AAAAAAAAAfw/O0AauSkdrv8/s1600-R/TreasurePile_Shot_HUGEST_Wide.jpg&imgrefurl=http://doris-surf.blogspot.com/2009/12/hiccups.html&usg=__tOhHTd8NC0VUn2N46czrhLngHQY=&h=768&w=1600&sz=265&hl=en&itbs=1&tbnid=o5gV0ZUIHcU_hM:&tbnh=72&tbnw=150&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtreasure%2Bpile%2Bpictures%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&safe=active&gbv=2&tbs=isch:1&start=0#tbnid=o5gV0ZUIHcU_hM&start=0

sunrise at Haleakala volcano

“So I am sitting here with coffee and my Bible looking out the window at planes coming and going and the hustle bustle of transportation, travel, and tourism and I feel refreshed. The sun is warm on my newly washed, but doubtfully clean (sand, sunscreen, peeling sunburn), face. My heart — finally — rests. Lord, thank you!

It’s been weeks since I’ve spent any real time praying or reading the Bible. I’ve been functioning with God how one survives a day at a mundane job — I punch in with glazed expression and uninterested mind, and I punch out secretly glad to be done with my time. Have you ever had a job or class like that? One where you are present and at the same time not present. It’s drudgery and it breeds resentment almost for the necessity of it. I don’t think our relationship with God — let alone with anyone — should be like that. There is no LIFE in that. There is no joy in it.

I can completely see how people can emerge from the journey of seminary feeling “dead” in their relationship with God and frustrated with the church. Everyone knows the church isn’t perfect — even folks who don’t attend know that! But we forget that the church is made up of people, and people are not perfect. We get selfish, bored, greedy, tired, and proud. We do the right things, but often for the wrong reasons. We need grace.

"Big Beach"

All this to say, I feel that I’m on the upswing of a burnout — and it is GLORIOUS!! I just spent six full days in the tropical Hawaiian islands and yet my soul feels more rested here in the San Francisco airport after a red-eye flight than on the gold sand beach of Maui. The reason is simple, yet profound:

I had tried to rest by getting away from everything, including God, when I should have turned to God.  

I opened my Bible for the first time in a long time and as I began to read the Psalms I realized how much I longed to know God. How satisfying His words are to a heart that is ready to hear them. You’d think that a vacation with friends in the tropical islands could not be beat, and indeed it was fun, but even that left me wanting. Unsatisfied in spirit.

Bamboo forest, Pipewei trail

Though my eyes had feasted upon volcanoes, tropical rainforests, waterfalls, tropical sunsets, spinning dolphins, enormous sea turtles, coral reefs, and world famous beaches… though my body had reasted and indulged, my spirit felt unsatisfied. I believe even the most extravagant vacation in the most beautiful location will not satsify the spirit. It may distract for a time, but only God can fill our spirits. He made us that way.”

Here’s a section of the Psalms I was reading, hope it encourages you!

“I bless the LORD who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” -Psalm 16:7-11

The FULLNESS OF JOY is found in the presence of God. God gives good counsel, peace, and joy. While God is always present we often ignore him, thinking that counsel, peace, joy, and happiness can be found elsewhere. But I kid you not, I felt such PEACE and JOY in God’s presence sitting in a San Francisco airport chair — more than any beautiful sunset on the beach with a cocktail could ever bring. There is nothing magical about the airport, but there is something powerful about basking in the sunshine with God. I highly recommend it! : )

What has happened to our world?! How have people somehow become commodities? It happens along streets in the U.S., in strip bars, at interstate rest stops, and in cities and towns around the world. Pornography and virtual reality seem to twist together in the dark world of prostitution. Perhaps people seek pleasure, relief from stress, or adventure, who knows? But the COST is immense. People who buy sex are stripping girls, and boys, of more than just their clothes.

Forgive me. Perhaps I could more tastefully write about this, but you must realize that this is not a tasteful topic.

It is, to my great dismay though, a very real one. And it is a terribly complex animal. I recently took a graduate-level course dedicated to the topic of global sex trafficking. I’ve noticed a great deal of interest in my blog associated with my posts related to this issue… I am hoping you all are wanting to learn how to stop this phenomenon, not participate in it. I am hoping that as you dare to dig into the pain of those who are entrenched in it, that you will not lose hope. Yes, the world in which we live is consumed by greed, corruption, lust, and love of self. That does not make it right. It is not the way the world was meant to be.  

The sale of sex is not a simplistic topic, and it is often — though not always — linked to human trafficking. Unfortunately trafficking, like prostitution, is a multi-faceted and complicated animal. A complete examination of either is beyond the scope of this blog. People are targeted and trafficked into the sex trade, agricultural work, domestic servitude, and manual and industrial labor situations. Those interested in more information on these may want to check out Disposable People: New Slavery in the Global Economy, written by Kevin Bales (University of California Press, 2004). It’s excellent. He examines sexual slavery in Thailand, chattel slavery in Mauritania, charcoal makers in Brazil, brick makers in Pakistan, and farmers in India. It is a shuttering wake-up call regarding the lives of many who share our planet.

This past summer I had the unique opportunity to spend a month in India with some incredible women — women who happened to have come from one of the world’s most notorious red-light districts. How precious are their lives and stories, what a testimony to the healing power of the Lord! Though words struggle to truly express the emotions and experiences of that time, you are welcome to explore my earlier blogs on India. May you see, in the midst of the harsh reality of these issues, the humanity that suffers and the hope that remains.  In preparation for the trip, I wrote my term paper for the trafficking class on the situation in Mumbai. I wanted to understand why sex trafficking is so prevalent in the city of Mumbai, India (formerly Bombay).

Before continuing let me say this: India is a strikingly beautiful country. It is full of beautiful people, vibrant color, aromatic food, and stunning architecture. Its history stretches back before the time of Christ, and many cultures exist within its current borders. It is not my intention to disparagingly treat the people of India here. I hope to, rather, share some of my thoughts on the issues of trafficking and prostitution with those of you who seem to be searching for information in cyberspace. What conclusions you draw are up to you. I invite you to respond to this or any other entry, and I kindly remind you that trafficking and prostitution exist in many countries (including the U.S.).

…Here is an introduction to the world of trafficking. Ruchira Gupta directed the documentary The Selling of Innocents (Malofilm Communications, 1996). (It is not pornographic.)

photo credits:

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1084/1166171435_dc8968501c.jpg?v=0

http://www.wisebread.com/files/fruganomics/imagecache/250w/files/fruganomics/blog-images/foreign-currency-and-coins_1.jpg

http://shanesthoughts.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/taj-mahal.jpg

The Bible wasn’t meant to be a lesson-planning tool for children’s Sunday school class. We are missing so much of what God has to say when we reduce it to such a surface-level existence.

This morning I had the priviledge of listening to a Middle Eastern man recount a story I’ve heard before, one I’ve brushed past at the Sunday-school level. Today the story came alive… and I wanted to share with you a snippet of what he said. My hope is that it will encourage you, bless you, and challenge you to seek within the pages of Scripture the heart of God. You will not be disappointed.

Perhaps you, like me, have heard this story. A lady pours out some expensive perfume on the feet of Jesus. It’s a great act of service and love… but I think it’s more than that.

From John 12:1-8: 

“Six days before the Passover, Jesus arrived at Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, ‘Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.’ He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it. ‘Leave her alone,’ Jesus replied. ‘It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.’”

Hmmm….

The perfume that Mary poured out was not only “expensive”, it cost the wages of an entire YEAR!! The US Census Bureau placed the average American household income at roughly $50,000 in 2004. Indeed much has changed in the past six years and figures vary depending on the statistical methods of calculation, but the point is the same: the perfume was worth a SIGNIFICANT amount of money. It was costly, and she used it all.

It’s likely that the perfume was her security. She was unmarried. Perhaps it was even her dowry. If something happened to her family she could have sold the perfume and lived off the proceeds for a year. She didn’t have a credit card for a rainy day… and yet she poured out ALL the perfume at the feet of Jesus.

Perhaps it’s easy for us to skim past those details in reading this story, but it would’ve been a radical thing to do.

The feet were considered the dirtiest part of the body. Even today in the Middle East it’s considered an insult to show the soles of your shoes to someone. In biblical times people wore sandals and walked on dusty roads. Feet were probably sweaty, smelly, and grimy after a day walking in sandals in the hot sun. Dirty toe nails, callouses, cuts, and possible fungal problems may have added to the “dirty” nature of feet in the culture. Good hospitality included providing guests with a basin to wash their feet after a long journey. If the host was wealthy and had slaves, then the task of washing the feet of guests upon their arrival fell upon the slaves. The master of the house or host would never have washed feet. Hence, Mary took the role of a servant to wash the feet of Jesus with perfume.

…And she used her hair…

In Biblical times women dressed more modestly than now, and often had their hair covered. A woman’s hair was considered her glory, and it was often tucked up. Wearing a veil in public was a symbol of submission to her husband and was considered to protect her honor and dignity. An unveiled woman in public would’ve been thought disgraceful.  And yet Mary doesn’t seem to be worried about what people would think, or what it might do to her reputation or desirability… she was worshipping the Lord. (Note: the picture is of a modern-day Muslim woman. It is not intended to depict the dress of women in biblical times.)

 This story, you see, isn’t just a simple account of a woman who did a nice thing for Jesus before he was crucified. It is the powerful story of a woman who truly gave all of herself — her money, security, reputation — at the feet of Jesus in honor and worship. This woman saw Jesus raise her brother, Lazarus, from the dead (John 11). Jesus deserves honor and worship. And Mary knew it. She held nothing back. Wow. 

 photo credits:  http://blackdahlia.zenfolio.com/img/v1/p240013506.jpg

http://www.namibian.org/travel/safaris/photos/box/fullsize/Dusty_Feet_fs.jpg

…And I know one.

...in Mumbai's red light district...

The words “I’m a positive” shattered my heart. Of all the words I heard and spoke in India this summer, those I will never forget. Reality struck me like a smoldering dagger taking revenge on a block of ice. I’m not sure if my heart melted or shattered — I think it must’ve done both. I sat, horrified, listening to this beautiful girl unfold her story to me.

It wasn’t fair. She, like so many of the girls I had the opportunity to share life with this summer, had been subjected to life in Mumbai’s red light district. It was not her choice to be there. Some girls are sold by their families for money, others are tricked into moving to the city to find work, others are born in the shadows of the brothels to mothers who are forced to prostitute themselves there. The scars of such torment are deep — both emotionally and physically. Tragically, many girls contract HIV from the men who rape them there.

Horatio Spafford

This world is broken and twisted. Terrible things happen to good people more often than we’d like to acknowledge. This morning I remembered the story of Horatio Gates Spafford (1828-1888)… I thought I’d share it here with the hope that it will be a blessing to you. It is worth a listen.

Horatio was a Chicago lawyer. You may know him more as the man who penned the famous hymn It is Well With My Soul.   

At once, upon hearing the news, Horatio boarded the next ship out of New York to join his wife. His daughter, born later, explained that the ship’s captain called him the ship’s bridge at one point. He told Horatio, “I believe we are now passing the place where the de Havre was wrecked. The water is three miles deep.” It was then that Horatio returned to his cabin and wrote the famous hymn.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

 For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

 But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

 And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

But Christianity isn’t about being a good person; it’s about God. Christianity is about following Christ, and only Christ. It’s the life that pours out of a desperate cry to God that says I’m broken, and I’m dirty, and I don’t deserve to be loved by you. It’s an acknowledgement and acceptance of who God is, what He’s done for us, and who we are. It’s all about relationship; an inner transformation that should overflow into every area of our lives. (The notion that Christianity is a stale list of rules dictated by an angry, distant God is not a biblical concept. It’s a tragedy.) 

We should not be fooled. Jesus is not some demi-god who sits on a cloud shootin’ the breeze with buddha, Mohammed, Zeus, and a legion of new age spirit guides. Biblically we cannot “cover our bases” by offering allegiance to everyone. Dabbling in spirituality as if we were at a smorgasboard, building our own “religion” like one fills a plate for a meal, is ludicrious. When we do that we place ourselves in the position of a god, essentially saying I know what’s best. God is loving and merciful, yes, but He is not a push-over. He is also holy, just, and jealous.  

I think we’ve lost sight of this in America. I think many Christians spend so much time worshipping themselves that there is little time or energy left over for God. We pick and choose the aspects of various philosophies that are appealing to us — those that allow us to live the way we please. And so we receive a self-bestowed “stamp of morality.” We worship money, sex, beauty, and power. Beneath that, I think, is a deep desire for security and love.

I read Francis Chan’s book Crazy Love awhile back and his profile of the “Lukewarm Christian” stuck with me.  I’ve spent many years sitting on the fence – trying to live for God and for myself at the same time. So, it’s with all genuineness of heart that I share Chan’s thoughts with you (highlights mine)…    

“Would you describe yourself as totally in love with Jesus Christ? Or do the words halfhearted, lukewarm, and partially committed fit better? The Bible says to test ourselves, so in the next few pages, I am going to offer you a description of what halfhearted, distracted, partially committed, lukewarm people can look like.” (p.67-68)

“LUKEWARM PEOPLE:

• …attend church fairly regularly. It is what is expected of them, what they believe ‘good Christians’ do, so they go.

“The Lord says: ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.’” -Isaiah 29:13

• …”give money to charity and to the church… as long as it doesn’t impinge on their standard of living.”

• …”don’t really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin. They don’t genuinely hate sin and aren’t truly sorry for it… Lukewarm people don’t really believe that this new life Jesus offers is better than the old sinful one.”

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” – John 10:10

• …do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling too guilty. They want to do the bare minimum, to be ‘good enough’ without it requiring too much of them. They ask, ‘How far can I go before it’s considered a sin?‘ instead of ‘How can I keep myself pure as a temple of the Holy Spirit?’ … They ask, ‘How much time should I spend praying and reading my Bible?’ instead of ‘I wish I didn’t have to go to work, so I could sit here and read longer!’

• … are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act. They assume such action is for ‘extreme’ Christians, not average ones.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive youselves. Do what it says.” -James 1:22

• …are continually concerned with playing it safe; they are slaves to the god of control. This focus on safe living keeps them from sacrificing and risking for God.

• …do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to. They don’t have to trust God if something unexpected happens — they have their savings account. They don’t need God to help them — they have their retirement plan in place. They don’t genuinely seek out what life God would have them live — they have life figured and mapped out. They don’t depend on God on a daily basis — their refrigerators are full and, for the most part, they are in good health. The truth is, their lives wouldn’t look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God.”

“A relationship with God simply cannot grow when money, sins, activities, favorite sports teams, addictions, or commitments are piled on top of it. Most of us have too much in our lives… Has your relationship with God actually changed the way you live? Do you see evidence of God’s kingdom in your life? Or are you choking it out slowly by spending too much time, energy, money, and thought on the things of this world?” (p.67)

Let us fix our eyes on only that which is worthy of such attention.